Cheek to Cheek by Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett
If your ears bled when hearing last year’s disastrous flop ARTPOP and didn’t think there could be anything worse, I am sorry to say you are wrong. I listened to Cheek to Cheek with an open mind. After all, I do think Lady Gaga has vocal talent that could have transferred to jazz. Then, there is Tony Bennett. There is nothing anybody could say about his legendary status.
Although Lady Gaga and the “critics” she allegedly pays claim she is the greatest jazz singer since Ella Fitzgerald, they have set her up for a disappointment of an album. It’s not only a disappointment, it is a disaster. If you dared to watch recent ISIS beheading videos and thought the screams sounded cringeworthy, the sounds Lady Gaga makes when attempting to “sing” jazz music are–believe it or not–worse. Tony Bennett could have saved the album if he hadn’t sounded so bored.
The worst song on the album is “Nature Boy,” in which Gaga changes her vocals several times to try and add excitement. However, she brings nothing but desperation. On “Anything Goes,” Gaga sounds like an alley cat who was just raped by a swamp rat. After listening to this song, it gets to the point where you seriously find yourself wishing Britney Spears would make a jazz album. It’s that bad, folks!
The are two decent tracks here: One is “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love.” It shows that when Lady Gaga isn’t on drugs, she can really sing well. As the song goes on though, Gaga sings like she has a cold. Still, it’s the only track where she sounds like she is having any fun. Her remake of “Lush Life” isn’t as enjoyable, but it shows a rare strain of vocal charm on the album.
Tony Bennett sounds like he is either lazy or is about to die of a heart attack (God forbid!). He sounds out of breath on almost every song he sings. As much as he claims to love Lady Gaga (it’s all about the money and marketing, folks), it’s obvious he doesn’t feel comfortable singing with her.
After listening to “Cheek to Cheek,” one feels disappointment in Tony Bennett and nothing but sadness for Lady Gaga, who has fallen harder in one year than any other pop star in music history. If she couldn’t handle the criticism of ARTPOP, one hopes her parents finally send her to a mental institution once critics (who aren’t being paid by Gaga’s PR team) sharpen their poison pens.